How to Know If You Are in a Healthy Relationship

Good old-fashioned research consistently points out that building strong social connections is crucial for your overall well-being. Both mentally and physically, these relationships play a pivotal role in shaping your life. Numerous studies have found that individuals in healthy relationships tend to engage in positive behaviors, leading to better health outcomes. They also have the potential to enjoy a longer and more fulfilling life.

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Nobody’s relationship is flawless; they all have their unique mix of ups and downs. We often talk about spotting the signs of an unhealthy relationship, but we sometimes forget to discuss what a healthy one looks like.

When evaluating the health of your relationship, ask yourself these crucial questions:

Do you have trust in one another?
Trust forms the foundation of any healthy relationship. It’s all about being confident in each other.

Do you respect each other?
Mutual respect is a cornerstone of a strong connection. It’s about appreciating and honoring each other’s differences.

Do you support each other’s interests and efforts?
In a thriving relationship, you’re each other’s cheerleaders. Supporting your partner’s dreams and aspirations is essential.

Are you honest and open with each other?
Honesty and open communication are vital. Concealing things can erode trust and cause issues.

Are you able to maintain your individual identity?
A healthy relationship allows both partners to maintain their individuality while also being a part of a couple.

Do you talk about your feelings, hopes, fears, and dreams?
Sharing your thoughts, emotions, and aspirations creates a deeper connection.

Do you feel and express fondness and affection?
Love and affection should be evident in your daily interactions.

Is there equality and fairness in your relationship?
A balanced relationship means that both partners have equal say and share responsibilities fairly.

Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

Every relationship has its unique charm, but there are certain characteristics that distinguish a healthy connection from an unhealthy one. Here are some key traits to consider:


Trust is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. It’s deeply influenced by your attachment style, which develops based on your past relationships. If your previous relationships were stable and trustworthy, you’re more likely to trust in future relationships. Trust also grows as you see your partner treating you well and being dependable. If you feel the need to hide things, it’s a sign that trust is lacking.

Openness and Self-Disclosure

Healthy relationships allow you to be your true self. While it’s normal to be cautious initially, over time, you should be able to share more about yourself. Openness fosters trust, and self-disclosure enhances it. Being open doesn’t mean sharing every single detail but being comfortable sharing your thoughts, fears, and hopes.

Healthy Boundaries

Maintaining individual boundaries is crucial. Each person has their own needs and expectations. Healthy boundaries define what you accept and what you won’t tolerate in your relationship. It’s not about secrecy but about respecting each other’s space.

Mutual Respect

In healthy relationships, respect is mutual. Partners support, uplift, and avoid belittling each other. Respect is shown through active listening, understanding, and building each other up.

Love and Affection

Love and affection are the lifeblood of a healthy relationship. It may start with passionate love but evolves into compassionate love, marked by affection, trust, and intimacy. Each relationship has its unique level of physical affection, and what matters is that both partners are content with it.

Good Communication

Healthy relationships rely on effective communication. Conflicts are normal, but handling them with respect and empathy is essential. Conflict can even strengthen a connection, as it allows you to address problems and make positive changes.


Reciprocity is the heartbeat of a strong relationship. It’s not about keeping score but doing things for each other because you genuinely want to. The balance in give-and-take can vary, and that’s okay, as long as both partners are satisfied.

Signs of Unhealthy Relationships

Relationships aren’t perfect all the time, and signs of an unhealthy relationship can emerge. These signs include:

  • Attempts to control your behavior
  • Avoiding one another
  • Being afraid to share your opinions or thoughts
  • Being pressured to quit your interests
  • Criticism of your actions, friends, or appearance
  • Feeling pressured to change who you are
  • Feeling that spending time together is an obligation
  • Lack of fairness in conflict resolution
  • Lack of privacy or pressure to share every detail of your life
  • Neglecting your own needs to prioritize your partner
  • Poor communication
  • Unequal control over shared resources
  • Yelling

Some of these issues can be addressed, either through self-help methods or professional counseling. But in cases of abuse, your safety should be the priority. Reach out for help if you’re a victim of domestic violence.

How to Build Healthier Relationships

How to Build Healthier Relationships

Unhealthy behaviors may signal the need to end a relationship, but for other issues, there are ways to improve and build a healthier connection.

Commit to the Work

Both partners need to put in the effort to maintain a healthy relationship. Commit to working together to strengthen your partnership.

Show Appreciation

Gratitude brings couples closer. Find ways to express your appreciation for each other. Simple gestures can make a big difference.

Keep Things Interesting

Don’t let your relationship fall into a routine. Keep the romance alive by scheduling regular dates, trying new things together, and finding ways to surprise each other.

When to Seek Relationship Help

All relationships encounter challenges. If you feel that your relationship could benefit from outside help, consider speaking to a counselor or therapist. They can assist in addressing issues and improving communication. Remember that change must be a mutual effort; you can’t force your partner to change unless they’re willing.

A Word From Verywell

Even healthy relationships require occasional evaluation and improvement. Recognizing and addressing problems together can lead to a more fulfilling and lasting partnership. So, don’t hesitate to work together to build a stronger, healthier relationship.


What are the main characteristics of a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship is characterized by key traits such as trust, openness, clear boundaries, mutual respect, love and affection, good communication, and a balanced give-and-take.

How can I assess the health of my relationship?

You can evaluate your relationship by asking questions like: Do you trust each other? Are you open and honest? Do you respect each other’s boundaries? These questions can provide insights into the health of your relationship.

Is it normal to have conflicts in a healthy relationship?

Yes, conflicts are normal in any relationship. The key is how you handle them. In healthy relationships, conflicts are resolved with respect, empathy, and effective communication, which can even strengthen the connection.

What should I do if I notice signs of an unhealthy relationship?

If you recognize signs of an unhealthy relationship, it’s crucial to address the issues. Consider discussing your concerns with your partner or seeking professional help. In cases of abuse, prioritize your safety and seek assistance immediately.

How can I improve and build a healthier relationship?

To build a healthier relationship, commit to working on it together, show appreciation for each other, and keep the romance alive by trying new activities and maintaining good communication. Regular evaluation and willingness to make positive changes are essential for long-lasting, healthy relationships.